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This time six years ago, I was prepping to marry my best friend.  Yep, it’s my anniversary.  2190 that’s how many days we’ve been married.  We’ve been together 2555 days. That’s an accomplishment people.  Especially in the fast paced world of instant gratification we live in today.  I am happy and blessed to have accomplished this.  I don’t have a lot of deep sentimental things to share, but as always, I have observations, tidbits and memories:

I remember like it was yesterday our first date – we met at Phiipps Plaza here in Atlanta because he worked at Macy’s at the time.  We were going to see “Last Holiday” with Queen Latifah.  My very first thought when he came up the escalator? “My he has a huge head” LOL

He admitted to me a couple years into the relationship, that the very first time he visited my home he stopped at the drug store and bought new socks because his were STANKIN.  He hasn’t stopped and gotten new socks for my benefit since then, lol lol

The first time he called my office, he listened to my message and immediately knew that I was mocking Big Red from the Five Heartbeats..

I’ve been proposed to three times in my life and two of those times the men were unclothed.

I have vacationed more with him than anyone else..ever.

On a major level, we don’t have a whole lot of activities we enjoy in common but on a deeper emotional level we share A LOT and that makes us able to share activities.

Marriage is a VERB. it’s all the way an action item in your life. It’s a MUSCLE that needs to actively be exercised or it will lose it’s bulk and become weak.

We both agree we met at the correct time because if we had of met earlier, we would be supporting like 5 kids, lol

My daughter said that I got married six years ago, but she got ‘married’ three years ago.  That is a powerful statement and I believe her.  One of the best things I ever did was fight for that relationship to evolve at it’s own pace in the way it was suppose to develop and not how folks thought it should.  By not placing demands on what she should call him, tell him, experience with him allowed both of them to make their own relationship.

My ability to meal plan and cook was and is a HUGE thing that keeps him coming back for more.

The honeymoon does move on and you will meet each other naked, bare, wet and trembling.

Not arguing is NOT healthy – have a spat and encourage independent opinions, feelings and thoughts.

I have been submissive and not because I was told to, but because I wanted to be for the good of the relationship at that time.

This past year has been the year that I have thought five times before I spoke and nine times out of ten after that I’ve SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Keep the good memories in a pocket in your heart at all times. Having these at your disposal to pull upon can be a life saver.


Don’t ever assume anything.

Ultimately everyone is responsible for themselves and they make moves and decisions for themselves first and you second.

It’s perfectly ok to say I’m sorry.

Believe your own hype about your relationship – there’s no use in tearing it down because eventually you will believe that.

Keep each other responsible for being in the relationship.

It is very hard not to bring the past into the present, you have to work at noticing it, acknowledging it and then putting that shit back up in your closet pronto.

Live, Laugh Love…

I can’t remember when exactly I fell i love with my husband, but I fall in love with him ever so often all the time. It’s a continuous, natural feeling.

Not being particularly fond of your mate is a natural feeling as well.

I guess all in all Marriage is work, it is not a magic potion that cures your ills, you or anything else, it is a process that has to be touched everyday, it can work – even in this world we live in, if you want it you can have it.



About Pamela

Lover of MJ, Mother of College Girl, Atlanta living participant of the bigger picture. Always ready for my closeup.

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