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Looking Towards The Sun….

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“We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad.” 
― John Green

Death is not familiar to me.  The last time it came to my doorstep was 19 years ago.(I will leave Michael Jackson out of this particular conversation)  I remember it burst through my door, interrupting my life and leaving it’s mess around trying to soil the fabric of my life.  

Yesterday it dawned my doorstep again and though it had the nerve to make a reservation it still came as an intrusion, demanding my attention.  

I’m an interesting soul.  I rarely grieve for myself in full, I tend to project and absorb the feeling of grief as it affects others. So my words through my tears are more likely to be, how can they go on without their dad as opposed to I am going to xyz. 

So living in the space I live in now, I allowed it to do what it does.  I opened my arms and encircled all the people this would affect the most.  Surprisingly there’s sadness, but acceptance.  Everyone is doing exceptionally well.  

The reflection has been great, the memories sharp and that’s the way it should be.  At our burials we pass out peppermints so that we can remember the good things and have a good taste in our mouths as we remember that person. 

I’m sure the winds of grief has not left us and when we least expect it it will blow in knocking us down in submission to it’s will, but our belief in God is what will get us off our knees and looking towards the sun..it is our belief that get us off our knees.

I say farewell to a man who added such vibrant, colorful threads to the fabric of so many lives, when we get up off our knees and look to the sun, we will certainly see your smile.

 

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About Pamela

Lover of MJ, Mother of College Girl, Atlanta living participant of the bigger picture. Always ready for my closeup.

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