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Musing while rolling in hair granola…..

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.

 

The feeling of frustration that something boils down to money is not equaled. I come away from some of these presentations sick to my stomach. I have to really not let this stress me out – what will be will be and where she will go will be where she will go.

 

I actually jotted down blog topics, because things came out my mouth this weekend – that warranted deeper discussion.

 

Our relationship still scares me on a daily basis – giving up this much of myself is terrifying, because I have no history in getting back from the edge, if it were to fall over.

 

NO We can’t go to Savannah right now Bro!!!!

 

I think I’ll stop by Ladies Workout and see how much Zumba classes cost there. I am inspired by my circle.

 

I have to figure out how to not just surf the net at home. I need to figure a space to write.

 

I have never had as many girl crushes as I have been experiencing since I went ‘natural’. There is just this beauty about so many sisters, that I just wasn’t checking for.

 

The blase’ feeling I have about the whole natural thing, I’ve deducted comes from the thought process that when we were natural before, there was this underlying consciousness that was associated with it, a rise up of an emotion for change. Our men joined us (or we joined them depends on how you look at it), we had a mantra, a handshake, a raised fist a purpose where the hair was the adornment of a movement, this time – it just looks like something to do – it’s missing…….consciousness.

 

I have decided to pass on Basketball Wives L.A. I feel some kinda way about it.

 

If you have a chance check out and keep up with blackthespian.com GREAT SITE!!

 

I have a ministry that I just figured out I’ve been doing and I’ll blog about it soon.

 

So I hope they not trying to be mad that we couldn’t swing it. I sure hope they not.

 

I’ve decided that 18 is the time that I take responsibility for this particular branch of my family tree. I don’t want to repeat the past and I don’t want to be accused of not presenting it the best way I know how. It’s going to be rough, but it’s a mandatory pulling of the scab, it won’t bleed – it’s healed – but it sure will hurt.

 

I had such a wonderful conversation this past Saturday. I decided awhile ago that for every step forward there would be the planting of a new tree of memories and the un-watering of an old one so it will die. Soon there will be a wonderful new dense lush forest.

 

I’m still trying to figure out the ‘look’ folks give you in 2011 when you mention Layaway. I’m not really impressed that you can go get it right now and it might take me 2 months to get it. We all still gonna get it. Folks be killing my brain cells daily.

 

I am jotting down some ‘projects’ I hope to accomplish the fall of 2012 – they are my ‘adjusting to the child being away project list’

 

For the first time in this place, I am feeling growing pains and I have just RUN OUT OF ROOM IN MY APARTMENT!!!!!!

 

The idea for my hair party came to me at the show – I need to figure out when I can have that because my calendar is freaking full for the next couple of months.

 

The Taste of Atlanta is coming and I’m excited!! We bringing the men too!!!

 

I need to totally update and revamp my itunes. I love Apple but the difficulty in moving that stuff annoys me.

 

I am reading “The Help” on my phone purely because the Gemini in me wants to read and listen to music at the same time. I don’t store music on my ipad…..

 

When I think of my relationship – I imagine a huge jack in the box that opens and just keeps spilling out – you keep trying to push it back in, but it is just so free flowing – our combination was the last two notes of a jack in the box.

 

I need to use some of my coupons – Its not like I’m not doing anything – I’m just not doing those things.

 

My Gay Husband is coming home to me and I’m soooo excited!!!!!!!

 

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About Pamela

Lover of MJ, Mother of College Girl, Atlanta living participant of the bigger picture. Always ready for my closeup.

One response to “Musing while rolling in hair granola…..

  1. Monica C.

    Please keep that blind faith about money and college!! Just apply – do not be deterred by money! And I’m one who says do not be afraid of the student loan. The $120,000 I incurred in student loans (college + grad school) – and that I took until my mid 30s to pay off – were the best investment I ever made. Let me add a caveat – if your objective is to use your education to make money, get those student loans and don’t ever look back. If, however, you’re thinking of pursuing career/job options that don’t pay that much money, you’ll want to be a bit more strategic in how you incur debt to finance your education.

    For me, loans + financial aid + a teency bit of help from mom + learning how to hustle and ignore those “Please Pay Your Tuition” notes = education and career accomplished.

    Sakinah is so bright; I don’t want to see her derailed by $$!! I wish I could step in like Oprah and be like, “I’ll pay for it,” LOL – but in the meantime, all I can do is give my measly don’t-let-the-money-stop-you-speech!

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