(Orginally to be posted Saturday, July 16, 2011)
I’m going to spin this off a because honestly, this is too broad a subject for me to pick just one, lol. As my relationship with RG progressed, there were some things I needed to get out of the way up front. There were some not necessarily non-negotiables, but let’s call them ‘habits’ that I have – that I haven’t really been able to give up. I had to let him know that I was IN LOVE with the Black man and I enjoyed, looking at and lusting after him. I enjoyed this activity with him clothed as well as butt ass nekkid. I wasn’t ready despite our relationship to give that up and I was prone to have crushes at any given time on several. Not to mention, sometimes my filter wasn’t working and I might say something inappropriate about him. I also let him know that I spend time looking at him in all his greatness in the form of still and moving pictures. (I know this sounds crazy as hell and quite testosterone filled). Surprisingly, he wasn’t all that plussed about it. Now, don’t think I would discuss this without setting up respect guidelines as well as giving him the opportunity to express himself about any random piece of female perfection if he wished.
I say all of this to say that my staple crushes are still intact: and I am free to express my undying lust for them when ever I please, keeping the more graphic exclamations to myself of course (even though he knows me so well – he will just roll his eyes as I gasp and place my fist to my mouth to muzzle the sounds of euphoria, lol lol)
I like who every other Sister likes, lol lol I’ll just post a few pictures up. Now in terms of all that ‘other’ stuff I spoke about above. I still indulge in that as well – except they aren’t ‘celebrities’ as the title suggest. I thank God for the gay sites because that’s the only way you can see and experience the wonders of the black man these days (I still don’t understand why there is this notion that black women don’t want to see hetrosexual naked black men ). The internet affords me access when I get the feeling to peruse the live action side as well.
There is this wonderful feeling of freedom (and togetherness) when you don’t have to live in a bubble of imaginary blindness. We trust each other and the foundation of our marriage is strong – so if he comes home and I’m oogling some dude sitting in a tub giving me mad jank fever, I just close my computer – or we are watching an old black movie and I rewind (say Best Man) TWICE the scene when Morris Chestnut leaps over the bed and say ‘man if that was me on the other end of that bed, i’d be in a head stand, lol He will usually put me in a headlock and we will have a laugh. I NEVER disrespect him and 99.9% of my extraness is wrapped around people and situations that most likely won’t happen.
Because I’m insane though – I prefer him to keep his on the people and situation that most likely won’t happen. He used to be shy about this but now this negro will get to panting and carrying on when ever Mary J comes on and is getting more comfortable with that as the days go on. Just know I got my eyes on the situation and people who all grinning and think it’s gonna happen cause HONEY IT AIN’T! LOL LOL LOL