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The Gas Gouging in my Brain

One day my friend and I might have to develop a compound to survive. It’s real like that out here. Can you make fuel out of vegetable oil? Hell I gotta grow Tomatoes in the back this year just to have some!!

Why am I still thinking about that fight between Evelyn and Tami on Basketball wives? That bad boy left me wanting more and I feel some kinda way about wanting to see black women fight, BUT it just seems that Evelyn broke all kinds of sistagirl rules. I also was disturbed by Shaunie and the way she played that thing and that look on her face as it was beginning to go down and then the realization that it was very real and hurtful when Tami was leaving. All kinds of shenanigans that left me somewhat distraught.

I wish I could go back, birth Sakinah and Breastfeed!! These broads are on extra concave stomach after having a baby around here!!!!! TITTY MILK ROCKS!!!!!!

Spaghetti and Waffles pretty much righted my apple cart: “They think like waffles…only one little square area at a time. They don’t know how to think like spaghetti like women…we can overlap stuff and handle a multitude of things.” – thanks Ria!!!

Why have I been..chanting lately? Channeling Tina Turner like a mug (well that’s the only one I know),. lol

 

I might have to cut out some of my other language speaking folks on the ole book. It’s annoying and for some reason I swear they saying crooked things about the rest of us. If you wanna have a private conversation then don’t have it in a public forum.

You ever look up one day and realize you are putting a lot of work into a relationship, so you stop to see if the other person is giving any back and realize you haven’t seen them all week. Answer gotten!

I really need to start getting the newspaper so I can get more into the whole coupon thing more.

I’;m not sure I want to witness NeNe ruin a good strategic show like Celebrity Apprentice. There is network reality and then cable reality, which is broken up into basic cable which might include TLC and A&E and then extended cable which covers your BET, TVOne, BRAVO, VH-1 programming. Some folks and activities need to stay on Cable.

I gotta get ready to spend some time working on the teenager. Just because they are older doesn’t mean they know all the answers and there are always things to be taught.

Laughing at those folks who thought it was Spring!

Why did I think the multitude of looks I got this past weekend was because I must have been looking crazy. How about I might have been looking cute!!!! Gotta stop that evil bitch low esteem from breaking out!!!!

Why do I spend over half my day HOVERING!?

I wish a nigga would……

Remember when you actually talked on phones, lol lol

I’m learning a lot about the concept of relating as it refers to relationships. For as much as you relate, there are just some areas where you are not going to. You literally say “I can’t/won’t/don’t relate” and quite frankly you don’ t have to. Once you have evaluated the nature of the issue – it’s ok to allow that person to own that entire scenario and even more ok to not lend anything towards it negative or positive. That is what keeps that person different and true to themselves on their journey.

I have come to the realization that I keep the whole ‘biological’ Dad thing put up in a box because to open that box would unleash so much bullshit, it just makes sense to keep it as it is. Sometimes the ship has sailed to far away from shore and to try to get back will just drown you – you betta ask a slave about that shit. They couldn’t and their people couldn’t swim that 9,000 miles and what if they met in the middle – there’s nothing to stand on. I think that’s why I’ve just shut down on the whole even going back because I haven’t quite figured out how to balance the whole thing out and I would rather be at PEACE about the situation and not plant any seeds of discontent than step into a field full of manure just ripe for bullshit growth. I will check back in on that soon.

I think there is such a thing as motivational envy and jealously as long as you approach it from a platform of equality. If you and that person are ‘equal’ then you can be envious that they are XYZ because it might motivate you to up your game. However, if you somewhere being envious and jealous with the platfrom of trying to covet what some folks are doing/having then you need to sit down somewhere.

I feel the tremble of the need to pick my manuscript back up – I need to listen to it.

One day I’m going to accomplish something for ME and not because it’s what I should/suppose to be doing.

I STILL don’t know why I continued on to College – I should have went to Bartending School dammit!

You can apologize only so many times for being a bitch without change. If you are conscious enough to recognize you’ve been one, then you need to be conscious enough to make a CHANGE.

I almost blamed my mess on PMS – it’s almost like Christianity you can get away with holy hell during that time and chalk it up the devil and then magically it can disappear in one fell swoop due to the spilling of the blood, only to show up 28 days later. Such a cool aspect of both……….

I have found great comfort in one pair of shoes and refuse to take them off, lol lol I’m am turning old right before my eyes.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow..do You Know where you going to…….I want Destiny!

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About Pamela

Lover of MJ, Mother of College Girl, Atlanta living participant of the bigger picture. Always ready for my closeup.

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