I’ve been thinking about this hair journey lately. I feel embarrassed that there needs to be any thought behind it, but unfortunately it does. Its’ part of the de-slaving process you have to go through. I don’t have an ‘Agenda’ with my hair, it just happened as I’ve stated before. I fell in love with weave and in the process didn’t see it as healthy to keep relaxing my hair – so I stopped. Then one day I took my weave out and liked what I saw happening with my own hair, so I took it upon myself to get rid of the rest of the relaxed hair and said let’s see where this takes me. I figured that times may have changed and I set out to ‘learn’ what other Sisters were doing and it opened up a whole new world to me.
I wanted to explore that within myself because about five years ago I went ‘natural’ and it was worrying me. I really think it was all about HOW I cared for it. You really can’t use the same routine for your hair in its ‘natural’ state that you do on relaxed hair. I DO feel some kinda way that as more and more of us want to explore our hair – OTHERS will make the most money off of this. I DO feel some kinda way that OUR Salons are being VERY slow to be able to take care of our natural hair. Why do I have to pay more to get my hair washed, trimmed and dried? Hell I don’t even need to use the extra electricity to sit under the dryer! I can AIR DRY. Do I even NEED you for day to day maintenance? Think about that “Rhonda’s House of Hair”. I also feel some kinda way about those that make other Sisters feel bad about their hair choices. Just like when relaxed sisters used to make natural sisters feel bad, why would we turn around and decide they are the ‘enemy’? We are all in the know at this point about what chemicals do to our hair, what food and drink can do to our bodies etc. etc. the only ones who are not, are the children. Otherwise, I don’t judge and won’t judge that sister who choses to Relax – what happens on her journey she is responsible for. Being Natural doesn’t make any of us any better than our Sister. We ARE Sisters – stop just changing cabin on the Plantation – all of it is a slave master mentality.
The biggest thing I’ve found out is that just like putting lotion on your skin after a shower, the care of my natural hair is just happenstance. It just happens along with my daily routine. If it accidently gets wets in the shower – oh well. If it acts up, where is my headband, scarf etc. I just keep it moving. Even if I just grab a dollop of my husband’s pink lotion in a hurry and rub it through, it’s no big deal. I went out the house not too long ago with a scarf mammy style on my head and rocked it –WHAAAAA?!
Part of the de-slaving process is to not only LOVE and LIKE your hair but to ACCEPT your hair. I have moved to that arena. I accept that this is it. My mother and Father gave me the set of genes that made this hair, I refined it (whether good or bad) with my hair journey of bad times, failed styles and chemicals and this is where I am at. The biggest test is when you are having a BAD day. It seems that bad natural hair bad day is TEN TIMES worse and it seems you have no out, ESPECIALLY if you have a TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro). IF you make it through the following intact (1) bad product, (2) HUMIDITY (3) rogue hair and (4) The slave masters visual in the mirror. You are well on your way.
I have also suddenly gotten stumped concerning ‘other hair’. I went back into my past a bit and my weave fascination began with the whole long straight. Then I realized that (1) I kept picking BAD weavers (2) my round face demands ‘round’ hair, lol So I started to explore texture. Another issue was that basically all the girls in Atlanta wear the same style at the same time and the ‘official weave uniform’ was this whole Toya (lil Wayne’s Ex) look and that didn’t work for me. I really like the whole full ‘textured’ look. All summer I rocked my curls and I wanted to go bigger and bigger but I controlled myself.
Now I can’t figure out ‘how’ to wear hair, lol lol I have a friend online who rocks the greatest wigs to ‘grow her hair up’. I can’t figure out how to work it into my wardrobe (cause hair is just a piece of wardrobe). I’ve decided that I can’t figure out how to work it into my day to day WINTER Life. At least not at work, lol Now when the summer hits – I will have to see. I am really about literally getting up, fluffing and going and I want BIG HAIR!! So the summer might be the time I cover my head and when the end of August hits – here come MY FRO!! Everything has a season. My real hair Sept-May. Big crazy loopy Brazillian Curls June-August.
Lastly, I’ve really been examining how I FEEL with my own hair. A lot of being a woman revolves around how we feel about things. I am really happy to report that I feel BEAUTIFUL! I have this comfort level with myself and my hair and how It fits me. It’s caused such great side activities – like wanting to showcase it with accessories and jewelry (my earring game is great – when I get to NYC it’s ONNNN!!) and I’m taking care of my skin and I’ve taken a keen interest in Make-up (seeing as I have a ton). I feel really feminine and want to make sure that is being displayed.
I think the biggest thing is that I have FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE BLACKWOMAN! OMG! We are beautiful. I spend a lot of time reading about sisters and looking at sisters who are rocking their style. I too, spent a lot of time looking at the imagery that the slave master told me was beautiful and they are but when I look at the Sisters rocking their flyness as naturals, it just does something to me. I don’t even have a preference doesn’t matter if your hair is long/short/loc’ed/twirled/twa whatever it’s all beautiful!! I want to blow some up and just put them on my wall. I feel like I’ve put on a new pair of glasses and for the first time I am able to see all the beautiful ‘color’ this world has to offer.
THERE IS NOTHING BETTER HOWEVER YOU ARE WEARING YOUR HAIR THAN FEELING BEAUTIFUL!!