As I was watching Sex & The City 2 on the train this morning (It was not as good as the first one but just as poignant to me) and I really began thinking about my relationship and where and what it is. We are officially 2 1/2 years into our Marriage and 3 1/2 years into our Relationship. We’ve gone through the OMG phase, the At Last phase, and all the other phases that make your heart just beat really really fast. My ‘she got a man’ glow has been replace by just a nice tan of the fact, lol We’ve suddenly come out the fog and reclaimed all of the things that make us individuals – the good and….the bad. We still walk on the cloud of love, but you can begin to feel a bit of the ground beneath our feet.
When you get this age, the wear and tear of life starts to show, I still have a nice shine to me, but you can tell the seats are a bit worn (smile). I think alot of us as women have been so pummeled with the whole Don’t let them see you have any baggage, etc. that we walk a little slower cause we have to hide all that shit beneath our flowing robes of perfection. Well honey let me tell you – I sat down and that mess flew out from under that robe one day and hit him dead in his chest, lol lol Amazingly it didn’t knock him off his feet and I’ll tell you a little secret – I think men hold thier dicks all the time cause they have all their baggage hidden in that little space between the balls and the anus, ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL
What I love about my husband was that he not only listened, but he heard what I said (well it wasn’t that bad – I can’t speak on when you divulge yours and it’s ALOT) and with what I think is a conscious effort he’s given me a few things off my wish list – you know the list you keep inside about how you really want to be treated. We all have them, that magical place where folks just orgasm and fall to your feet, lol lol I wanted to be spoiled and he does that for and to me. I still get put to bed in the evening when he’s around and kissed on my forehead 🙂
Another aspect of the relationship is the revealing of the “V” inside you, ROTFL I call it that because one day you wake up and roll over and are like WHAT THE HELL?! All of the I must dress and act like a Video Hoe (male and female) every evening goes out the window!! I’m one of those people who can go from looking exceptionally cute to looking downright fuddy in a matter of minutes. All I’ll say about him is that in our wedding vows I said i love him from his head to his ankles – his feet should be banned in all Civilized cultures. However, the releaving of the lizard within us all is a huge step and makes room for a level of comfortability that I now enjoy in my home. I don’t let it get too far, men are visual creatures – but being able to relax in my Al B Sure T-shirt (now Cropped Top) from 1987 is a blessing.
Another thing I love about my husband is that and I’m not sure how, he can just know when it’s time to date me. He can feel when the whole Married thing is getting on my nerves and I need a dose of gong out and pretending that all of this money we both spend will lead up to some incredible sex like it did when we were dating – except now you really don’t have to do anything but roll over, lol lol You gotta DATE people!! That’s all I have to say about that.
I look around our apartment and we are living like college dorm roommates and that suits us just fine, lol I have my stuff going on and he has his stuff going on. I can’t quite remember who has given in to the notion that whatever you thought your home was suppose to look like this ain’t it. What I have learned is that as a woman you pretty much dictate everything going on up in there from Religion (unless you’re married to a Pastor) to how clean it will be to when you eat etc. SO TAKE CARE NOT TO CRUSH YOUR MAN UP UNDER WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON. They just wanna be fed, stroked and get some stroking on – it’s really that simple. If you wanna decorate the house full of say….Michael Jackson (don’t judge me!) that’s cool by him – as long as he can Moonwalk to some food, you put some smooth criminal on his back sometimes and you give him the Thriller more than once a month!!!
Another thing that I secretly love about my husband is that he can remember in riveting detail everything about when we first me and repeats it all at least 3 times a week! He has truly convinced himself that I was head over heels for him, amazed at his crotch area and dying to give him some 15 minutes into meeting him, when in reality my first thought was “Wow his head is mighty big” LOL LOL LOL This puts our relationship in a continuous spin of good feelings and good vibes – we both fight over who wanted each other first – it keeps the relationship hot with the notion that we were so hot we basically self combusted, lol lol We both have ‘ego’ issues and this works fine for us.
I guess the only other thing that I can say at this point in our relationship is that unlike a younger couple or a couple with small children – we are able to foresee having an empty house (for the most part) in less than three years AND moving into things like weddings, and GASP Grandchildren. We are about to be together forever, but on the otherside of the hill. Yes we have the little one, but I don’t foresee her mother turning in her Wiicked Witch lifetime membership anytime soon so I have to just pop that in when I can). We spend time talking and relating because it’s about to be ‘us’. We make sure that we are maintaining a great enough portion of ourselves as individuals that when we come together we bring ourselves and not who we would like each other to be.
Our marriage is not 50/50, I’m a needy broad (lol) we float back and forth within the scope of the 100% We understand and feel like the fact that we can remain fluid keeps us happy with one another. We work within that entire spectrum and not by assignment based on anybody’s rules. You gravitate towards what it is that you do in the relationship and sometimes those lines become blurry.
I think the biggest thing I can say about our relationship at this point is that we really really dig one another. We don’t tear each other down, we are together for really base reasons, we actually liked each other and fell in love, we like each other now about as much as we did back then – We don’t demand something from each other that we don’t do ourselves, we don’t let anyone try to tell us what works in OUR relationship and we truly still feel like God heard us and nudged us towards each other.
We have fallen into a nice slow bop and I like it like that 🙂