Well it seems as if fall is ushering itself in. Now here in Georgia, it likes to play games, tease us a bit by making us shiver in the morning and wipe a bead of sweat in the afternoon. I joke about the whole long sleeves, hats and shorts thing that happens with the white folks, but I do understand.
Another way I know that the seasons are changing for the darker colder months is that folks are beginning the annual tradition of trying to figure out exactly WHY they are here on this planet. It seems that as we transition from winter to spring it means just that: we are full of life and hope and purpose, the sun is coming! the sun is coming! However, when it transitions to this time of year, we almost prepare to run ourselves crazy during these month doubting out existence. The most interesting one I have read is from a fellow blogger ROSALIND – her take on the whole thing is a refreshing slap in the face for real!
I felt some of it coming on this morning, I really didn’t want to move from the bed – I didn’t want to get dressed, stand in the cold on the train platform which isn’t nearly as trendy as say the NY Transit System, and then come in to take my place in line to jump into the hamster wheel. Sometimes I might as well leave my damn brain at home – it would get more use there. YET I DECIDED NOT TO DO IT THIS YEAR!! Yep! Not gonna do it.
I really have come to some understanding about the fact that when it is suppose to happen IF it’s suppose to happen it will. I am not a person that needs to be on it all the time – I have alot of great ideas and I am smart, and creative and funny – and I am working on those things all the time and I am happy with that. I really can’t describe the creative outlet that Scrapbooking lends me. Folks who are money driven can’t really grasp the whole thing – but I can. Some folks are always like if it ain’t making money, it’s useless – that’s not true. The things that I have been getting off into from blogging again, to my MJ circles to my scrapbooking and now card making – WORK FOR ME. I am happy (well almost there) with who Pam is – if folks don’t like it they can kiss it, to be honest. What I do with my time and my life is my business. I am in a really nice place right now in terms of my personal mental health. God sent me not just A man but MY man, my child is a GREAT young lady with a pretty good head on her shoulders, our house has so much HAPPINESS in it, I will cancel something just cause I want to be there. I have two of the best females as friends I could ask for and a slew of other good sisters I deal with on various levels – I don’t have any drama in that area. I am a historian and the keeper of alot of important stuff. This 100 page scrapbook of my time in HS is the buzz already – folks want to see this stuff. I will be showcasing it at the Tailgating party this year. That means alot to me. All the rest that God has in store for me – It will come and it might not be what folks think it should be or when it should be. It’s got to mean something to ME.
So I don’t really have any room to entertain the concept that I am not occupying a meaningful space on this planet unles I’m doing XYZ, which has been outlined by somebody somewhere. We are all occupying a space, there is bandwidth in said space to move about to satisfy you and what you feel you need to be doing. I have always been in a race to find peace as defined by me. It involved all things family and friends, it has never involved money (or Education for that matter).
The truth of the matter is that life to me is like living in a house. Even if you keep the living room clean there’s always a closet or something that is full of shit, you don’t know what to do with, lol lol I have a closet with that stuff in it and some stuff I keep out just so I can always see it. However, I have a nice ‘living space’ that I’ve created and I’m going to light some logs in the fireplace, put up a Cinnamon Broom and welcome the Fall/Winter in the way I want to see it!!!