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The ‘ex’tras and Facebook

The other day a group of sisters and I were talking and laughing about Facebook/Your Exs and the politics fo it all.  I was thinking about the ‘degrees of separation’ we have with people (my rule is there’s six overall but only three between black folks) – and it made me reflect on Ex’s. Those folks that you used to think was ‘the one’ – but since have moved on. I was thinking about the fact that every ex you have, has other ex’s of their own and so on and so on – which then made me kinda ill when you think about all that sexing; but I digress.

Unlike some women – I have not been drug through the wringer by a man. My relationship tapestry does not include a third of the ‘drama’ that alot of sistas so gleefully hold on to for conversation purposes. Have you even been a part of a hen party where all you hear about is the ‘men who done me wrong?’ According to some sistas not one man they ever had an encounter with have done right by them, lol. I have heard some of the wildest stuff in my day and most of it, I just sit and absorb because it hasn’t happen to me – so I really can’t relate. I

Well because of this, **NAIVE ALERT** ** NAIVE ALERT** I don’t have Ex’s that I hate and I’m fairly comfortable that none of them hate me. I really don’t see why we can’t be cordial even friends. I mean when I think back the most drama I had was sitting Bros stuff out on the porch because he had crossed my line of ‘respect’ – however I don’t consider him ‘the enemy’. We spoke quite a bit after the breakup, until our lives took us in different directions and we just lost touch.


I sometimes wonder do men walk around bemoaning a relationship as long as women do? I mean some of us are still pissed at our 8th grade boyfriend and we in our forties!  What is the mechanism that makes us elevate whatever was wrong and Lawd could someone tell me why it was never our fault? Apparently there is a caveat as a woman that men mess up and we suffer.

But back to Facebook.  As we know, it’s totally changed the way we relate (I’ll do a post on that later).  I so enjoy running into folks that I know or have known.  Some of  these folks are Ex’s.  Here’s where it gets tricky.  Exactly why must there be so much drama from folks you don’t even see about speaking to an ex.  Well let me lay it out on the table – from whomever they are dating/married to now.  I will run into an ex on Facebook – we have just enough conversation to say what’s up and look through everyone’s pages at their families and BOOM – the person has deleted me, lol lol  I have found just about everyone and it inevitably ends up with us not being able to continue communication and I pretty much know it’s because they had to delete me as their friend.  Seeing as all of my conversation is on the up and up (and I mean that), I’ve decided that it’s probably because they have their significant other on the page OR they can’t deal with knowing me…again.  I’d like to think that it’s because I’ve become someone fabulous and they know, lol lol lol  If they have any memory – add who I am today and yea they might wanna delete me cause it could be painful, lol lol lol

My husband has a bunch of women on his page and I know some of them he used to deal with, however, as much as I would like to believe it, he didn’t come out of some time capsule and present himself to me and only me.  He has a past and it includes all kinds of folks.  I’d like to believe that most folk on facebook are really just as amused with finding or running into different pieces from their pasts as I am and have no isssue with stopping in from time to time to see what’s up in their world. 

I’m a bit sad that I can’t be friends with Ex’s on the ‘book’ but then again – I know the rules and the situations and knew it wasn’t going to work that way anyway, lol lol  It was a nice thought though.

Authors Note:  This is one scattered thought, but you get the drift, lol lol

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About Pamela

Lover of MJ, Mother of College Girl, Atlanta living participant of the bigger picture. Always ready for my closeup.

2 responses to “The ‘ex’tras and Facebook

  1. NikkFree ⋅

    Women don’t trust other women. It has absolutely nothing to do with the man. You know that’s why you were deleted. FB can kill a relationship. Heck! In some cases, FB has motivated others to kill.

  2. I’m cordial with all of my exs. If we ever run into each other, we always hug and chat it up for a few minutes. I find it quiet amusing when I hear people talk bad about their exs. I just can’t relate.

    My most recent ex couldn’t stand the fact I was friendly with my exs or with any dudes that I had no type of relationship with. Like one dude and I have been friends for almost 10 yrs(at the time) but he swore up and down my friend wanted me. In all of those years we have been friends, he has never made a pass at me. I’ve said it once and I will say it again, if a person has never had a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex that don’t understand when someone else does.

    And FB is the devil!

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