I know how it came to be. Part of the process of knowing and more importantly understanding who you are is acknowledging things about yourself. I know why people really like me and I know why people might really not like me. The point is to remain true to yourself and be a student in your class of life.
What did I learn last night? That just as I ‘hold’ on to an outdated image of people in certain situations, others do as well. What looks like something that should be obvious, seems to continue to be ignored in lieu of the way people WANT to feel about the situation. Probably because that feeling allows room for them to feel more on point.
I had an outburst last evening because I was hot that people spoke to my child assigning an outcome to a situation that turned out to be TOTALLY negative which in turn caused my child to not open up to me. That’s dangerous territory because if my child has an issue she needs to come to me!! She also needs to be directed to me!! It is definitely breaking some unwritten rules that a person would assist a child to keep secrets from their parents. NOT COOL!! I’m glad that she pushed through and came anyway and it went totally not as expected. Seeing as I don’t even have or have any interest in having dealings – I can look at it and actually see inside it and move on.
Do I cut folks in and out of my life? YEP, is it because I’m under some kinda ‘spell’? NOPE – It comes right down to, the feeling I get, the vibe I get and the stress level it presents is not that which I feel like dealing with. When it comes my way or it comes to close – I put up the force field and keep it stepping. If that person doesn’t understand why I’m not impressed – then that’s natural because I don’t understand why my fabulousness doesn’t appeal to everyone either, lol lol
As usual these chapters always belong to The Big Book of Family. I truly believe there is a wall of glass running right down the hallway of this families going ons. On one side is the matrix where everyone (including myself) is assuming they are living and then there’s the reality on the other side. It’s amazing we are not just ramming into walls all the Rose Colored Glasses We Wear.