Hey folks! I have been so busy, it has been hard to carve time out, but it’s a nice quiet Saturday nite – so I wanted to ease my mental with a little blogging.
I graduated from College with my Masters May 2009. I had been in school for school for 3 straight years. It consumed most of my time. I stopped reading, I stopped doing recreational things, it boiled down to me just watching TV to downgrade from school. Once I got out of school, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with the new time I had on my hands. I was out of touch with so much of the things I used to do to relax. I tried to start back reading, but African American Literature doesn’t really interest me anymore and I didn’t feel like discovering a mainstream author to enjoy. Something inside of me was just not clicking.
I know some of it had to do with a great let down from the euproria of getting my education. I feel smarter, I feel more educationally professional (is THAT a word group, lol) , yet I felt there was no ‘here’s the job of your dreams’ position. I just don’t know why I have such a hard time with all of this. I am glad I went and got my degrees, it was a personal challenge that I completed, but it hasn’t had any great impact on my day to day like that – soooo I have been left bereft of outlet….until now.
I have had a bucket in my home full of scrapbooking things for the past three years. My good friend actually gave me a kit for my wedding and I said I am going to do it – I’ve been married 3 years now, lol Well several weeks ago, I pulled it out and went through it and it just hit me, this is what I wanted to do. Since then I’ve been engrossed in my new hobby. It’s been awhile since I’ve used my hands/eyes/mind on a craft related activity and it just feels good. I have been a crafting person for a long time. From cake baking, to being on the early train to using computers and imagery on gifts etc. You know I always get folks with the personalized little trinkets that make them feel special. I just have these ‘cycles’ where I have to release the creativity. I have been enjoying doing the photo books and all that stuff, but there’s just something about laying a plain sheet of paper in front of you (be it writing or crafting) and visualizing how you want it to look and what you want it to say and then slowly building it. I have been in heaven! As well as I have officially gotten out of my “I’m no longer in school now what to do with my time?” Rut. I’m ultimately a homebody, housewifey type broad with episodes of that ‘other’ Pam, lol lol Sitting and watching TV was starting to get to me and now I have only glanced at it these last three weeks or so, it’s been on for the shows I definately have to watch but otherwise my mind is somewhere else. I have just put other stuff on my plate. Now scrapbooking on on full speed because I have several projects lined up – these projects could take me up until the end of the summer depending on what they are.
Scrapbooking has opened the sponges in my mind!! Ideas that I have rolled around, are just bubbling up. I am back to carrying around like 3-4 folders with ideas mapped out in them. I have a couple of things I’m working on. I’ve even been fine with not Facebooking 24 hours a day, lol lol Now thats my home away from home, so I’m there, but it’s okay if several hours go by and I don’t check in.
I feel like once again I am morphing and changing. I feel l have gained some ‘leverage’ with my husband. For a short while, I had began to rely on him for my substance, I was constantly fretting about what he was doing because I wasn’t doing anything. His schedule was FULL! Mine was EMPTY! I was not feeling right about that either, I had my own life and own projects and own being that I was not taking care of. By regaining my confidence to a certain degree, and gathering my wits back about me, our relationship has freed itself up from me riding on his back. Yes there is beauty in him giving me his back to ride on, but all relationships do much better when everyone is for the most part walking on their own, lol He’s even noticed I haven’t bugged him once in like three weeks about him hardly being home. Interestingly, his behind has been home several nights lately, lol lol
So I have been planning projects, reading again – different things, scrapbooking, even my 9-5 has taken a turn for the interesting. I tell you the Gemini in me is one of the most confusing electrical currently running through this ole gal right here, lol Always keeps me jumping, lol Always.
Also, though I haven’t actually gotten the courage as of yet, because it’s gonna take courage. I have been quietly gathering my thoughts and the necessary products for my Michael Jackson Memorial Scrapbook. A labor of love indeed – A labor of love indeed.