Remember that movie “13 Going on 30”? I love that movie and watched it while I’ve been shackled to my house losing teeth and shit, it made me think about when I was 14 and all the turmoil I went through – caused by my own self, lol thought I would do a play on that – by posting some actual diary entries from when I was….14. Of course I have all my journals from 14 to present ( now isn’t that gonna be off the chain at my demise?). So let’s look into my world when I was 14 (In no particular order) – believe you me the psychosis started EARLY!!
March 16, 1981
I had a wonderful time. I went to the movies with T. We had a great time. When we got home he kissed me about twenty times. It was soo romantic. I guess I better go!
March 21, 1981
On I am so sad! at the last minute my mother changed her mind of all the things. I guess I”ll call T. and tell him I can’t go. I know he will be upset.
March 22, 1981
Boy am I mad. I called T. and he had just talked to Z. and I told him and he said “well I’ll bring you something back”. I am so mad at my mother. She gets on my last nerve. She’s always ruining my plans. I don’t know why she doesn’t trust me. If I wanted to do something, I would have been done soemthing.
March 27, 1981
Today T and I got into an argument and I slapped him. I coudl tell he was mad, because he didn’t say anything to me the rest of the evening. We have not kissed each other in 10 days and I guess we won’t now – since I slapped him.
March 28, 1981
I know why we aren’t kissing – he said I was on punishment. He said I had a month to go for the slap incident. We were talking on the phone and he goes “you gon give me a date?” and I asked, What date?” and he said “to have sex” and “you know I don’t do that kinda stuff, I’m not ready for all that” He goes, “Ok Love I can wait” I’m so confused I like him alot, but I’m just 14 and I don’t want to be one of ‘those type of girls’. I’ll just have to explain that to him and probably he’ll find himself another girlfriend. Oh well…..
April 7, 1981
T. was very upset with me today, He didn’t say as much as hello to me, he igged me today like I didn’t exist. He never walks me home anymore. He did have on the tightest jeans today. I should tell him that he could go sterile wearing those tight jeans…hmmm then I could have sex with him because I wouldn’t get pregnant Laugh Laugh Laugh.
April 19, 1981
I went to six flags today. It was fun, I had a goodtime. We left about 12:00a.m. and came back about 11:00pm. We had a good ass time.
May 1, 1981
Well it’s over. T and I broke up today. It’s a very long story and I actually don’t feel like talking about it.
May 20, 1981
I’m on Goddamn Punishment! Ain’t that a bitch?! However, I did see K.L. at school – he sure was looking good.
June 13, 1981
What a day – I need to cuss, damn, shit pussy face, bitch two time motherfucka, hoe, hussy, heifer. Oh I can’t think of nothign else right now. I feel better already. My life is no way where I need it to be. Maybe I’ll leave home. I got six dollars…
August 17, 1981
This was my lucky day. I went to the laundrymatt and the cutest boy ever came in. I liked to died, then I went to the Omni and saw 50 to 60 boys! Not one of them ugly! DAMN!
September 8, 1981
I haven’t written in awhile. Well I’m in love again. His name is K.L. and you should see him. He’s tops, dark, tall and very very very ditto thirty times cute or should I say handsome. He might be my future husband.
October 4, 1981
I got me some nice Gloria Vanderbilts friday. I will wear them Monday. I asked my mom about going to the homecoming dance and she talking about chaperones and shit. I won’t go. I don’t want my mom there!
K.L. and I cut 1st and 3rd period together and hung out. I had so much fun, he came to my locker with me and then we just hung out where the cutters hang.
December 27, 1981
Oh wow I met today the finest boy I’ve ever seen. I mean it, I told him he was fine, couldn’t help it. He’s a 10,000 in my book. Fine beyond comparision. He’s a transfer. I saw him in the hall and he saw me too. He walked up beside me and his hand brushed my thigh and I thought I had an orgasm. We stood at the lockers talking and when he left he said so sexy “Bye Pam” Whew!
January 3, 1982
today I went to see Switch and The Barkays at the skating rink. I had a ball. There were so many fine boys it was pitiful. Tomorrow I’m spending the night over P. house and that should be fun. We’ve changed our names and adopted celebrity names. Mine is Walanda and Her’s is Monique.
So people – do you see a reoccuring theme?! Good Grief! I’ll see about posting some more entries from other periods of my life – I’ve had fun reaching back.