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Open Letter – Volume 1

Greetings and Salutation!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

How are you my dear?  I hope that the entire holiday period, however you chose to acknowledge it, went over well.   I had me a good ole time, lol   A lot of the New Years eve celebrations I don’t remember – but hey that’s what makes them great, lol lol

 Man this bitch named Alberta brought her “clippers” up and through this fine State of  unprepared that I live in and took us for a loop.  Now it wasn’t the storm of 1993 (the one we can’t seem to get out of our system) but it was ugly.  It’s just cold and I picked a fine time to decide to conserve Gas etc. by beginning to take the train into work. I should have waited till April.  The whole vibe is working my nerves.  I couldn’t even get out of the driveway at our Apt!!  My SUV was like “don’t know where you going but I’m taking my ass home” and slid right back down the hill, lol   Folks cutting a fool you hear me?  Jumping off bridges to avoid skidding cars, leaving cars just all over the street and stocking up and booze and DVD’s.  I’m mad because I’m on like day 11 of looking like a Butch trucker from Indiana (just sounded like a place where she would reside) and I’m ready to look cute again! 

 Otherwise things are fine. I have rebelled against the entire resolution stuff because I like continuity in my life – all that pressure to acknowledge my faults and then do better only to fail is depressing.  At 43 it seems that the stuff that I am at fault at I’m just at fault at – so I have moved on to list B and see can I work on that, lol 

 I am still in the throes – well not as bad as I was, with this whole Michael Jackson thing.  I think at this point I’m just excited to be able to indulge in my passion on the level that I am now.  All the websites, articles, fan groups etc.  A whole heap of Jacksons second and third generation are on Twitter, lol  It’s been hella cool. 

Well I am the mother of a 16 year old now.  That has been interesting. It’s like October 27, 2009 at 10:05 am the moment she was born – she went beserk.  The crying fits and utter despair have WORE ME OUT!!  Good Lawd!!  I gotta stay strong though and just ride the wave. 

The 3rd year wedding anniversary would have come and gone by the time you receive this letter.  Four years together. I’m still trying to figure out exactly how that happened.  Time is zooming along at a speed that we can’t afford to trip up. 

 I am still in a place where I be damn if I’m going to allow someone to plot my course for me.  I am post school, middle of job market implosion and right now I am being still.  I also am looking at the fact that I might not need something new to do but I need someplace new to do it in.  I need some social interaction!  I sit in the back in a corner with nobody – there’s no traffic and no conversation for me and my skin is turning grey as we speak from the lack of ‘life’.  So I will be on the hunt for that. Something that speaks to me as interesting as opposed to something that speaks to me at $75K and up.  Now if that speaks to me first – I won’t throw a drink in it’s face – but I’m not whoring myself out for that prize.  I am an old whore for this that I have and it a hard job. 

 I also took a moment to stop and evaluate exactly how much I want to live.  For the past year I have apparently been shoveling loads of dirt in prep for my death with the way I was treating my body – a good spirit in a decaying body is sooo not cute!  So for December I detoxed of the sugar and a lot of the carbs (and abstained from land meats) and got back on all of my meds in the right way.  I just became conscious. It’s not about denial it’s about moderation and that’s how I want to live.  I have seen great jumps in my health!! 

Well I just wanted to let you know that I’m alive and well and not afraid to look forward to 2010.

Regards

Me

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About Pamela

Lover of MJ, Mother of College Girl, Atlanta living participant of the bigger picture. Always ready for my closeup.

One response to “Open Letter – Volume 1

  1. NikkiFree ⋅

    Girl, you do have the gift of writing. Great read.

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