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This Is It

the casketOn June 25th my life changed FOREVER!  All I remember is collapsing on the floor in hysterical sobs as the newsman confirmed the day I never saw coming – the death of Michael Joseph Jackson.  Ever since that day a part of me that was subdued has come forth and become an active part of my life.  Funny to see that teenager again – it’s been awhile, lol  She has come back with a vengence except my main being is now 42 years old and a spoilsport, lol  She does a good job of keeping the teenager under control, yet giving her enough room to be. 

Since his passing, I have grieved almost every day.  First of all my birthday month will forever be changed (sigh) and second I really loved the man and his music and his art.

I have gathered up everything I had accumulated over the years into one central location and I am slowly adding to my collection.  There is this feeling of back and forth because I am mourning the loss, YET so overjoyed with the resurgence of his greatness in the mainstream.  I pour almost weekly over all the things being sold, being traded, being found by people.  I have a list of things that I’d like to add.  It’s not alot but enough for me.

I joined the official Michael Jackson website forum and take great solace in interacting with others who are sincere about their fan duties.  For alot of people life has gone on – even folks who claim they are die hard fans – but I am still entrenched.  I had my ringtones, ringbacks, calendars etc. WHILE HE WAS ALIVE and I dealt and touched them on the weekly if not daily – so this is not something I pick up when need be – I have been living it all along.

The other day I got distraught over the fact that I’m going to get distraught when I go see this movie.  In my old age, I’ve become a bit emotional about mines and so I already know this is going to be heavy for me.  I need to see it at least 3 times in order to move along the process to the point where I can enjoy it, lol

I will be going the 28th at Noon and surprising my girlfriends by joining them on the 29th.  I have enough shirts to go several times in different outfits, lol

When I get home I’m going to take a picture of my current collection and post it.  Any other Mike Fans out there?


About Pamela

Lover of MJ, Mother of College Girl, Atlanta living participant of the bigger picture. Always ready for my closeup.

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